joke of the day

quicksilver-wsr
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Re: joke of the day

Post by quicksilver-wsr » Sun Aug 23, 2015 3:30 pm

Well, since it was my fault the serious matter of politics entered the forum's Comedy Channel, I'll make amends and bring things back on-track with this little snippet which brought me some amusement the other day ...

I was delving through some company-history data, looking for something else, when I happened on an entry for one company registered CAN'T FAIL LTD.

Alongside, and this is what made me chuckle, were the words COMPANY NOW DISSOLVED.

It reminded me of one of my own favourite mottos - one that I have found to be perfectly true, based on long experience. "Optimism is the feeling you have before you know better."

Nigel

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rob565uk
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Re: joke of the day

Post by rob565uk » Sun Aug 23, 2015 5:33 pm

Also expressed as:

The definition of a Pessimist is an Optimist with experience

1 in 10 people understands binary. The other one doesn't

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rob565uk
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Re: joke of the day

Post by rob565uk » Tue Aug 25, 2015 6:56 am

Police are warning of an obstruction on the A1M near Washington caused by a broken-down lorry. The lorry is currently receiving roadside counseling and Police are hopeful of getting it moving later today.

1 in 10 people understands binary. The other one doesn't

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rob565uk
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Re: joke of the day

Post by rob565uk » Mon Oct 19, 2015 11:11 pm

Wasn't sure where to post this..... It's not a joke but is amusing and certainly brilliant:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D2FX9rv ... E6v1NGQxug

1 in 10 people understands binary. The other one doesn't

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Piston Broke
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Re: joke of the day

Post by Piston Broke » Sat Nov 28, 2015 10:03 pm

If it can't be fixed with duck tape it can't be fixed
There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness"
Facebook is to socialising is what masturbation is to sex

jonwrightk7
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Re: joke of the day

Post by jonwrightk7 » Sun Nov 29, 2015 10:27 am

Just remember, these people are driving around out there... they are probably also running the country..
The world is full of Kings and Queens; who blind your eyes, then steal your dreams..

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rob565uk
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Re: joke of the day

Post by rob565uk » Sun Nov 29, 2015 12:48 pm

As in "You turn if you want .... This Lady is not for turning"

1 in 10 people understands binary. The other one doesn't

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Piston Broke
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Re: joke of the day

Post by Piston Broke » Thu Jan 14, 2016 4:26 pm

road closed.jpg
You do not have the required permissions to view the files attached to this post.
If it can't be fixed with duck tape it can't be fixed
There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness"
Facebook is to socialising is what masturbation is to sex

Terminator
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Re: joke of the day

Post by Terminator » Sat Feb 13, 2016 9:45 am

Mike Bull wrote:
00.jpg
It's not until you have lost something that you really do begin to wonder what you have lost :? Will have to give it a go I suppose :roll:
Novie
"Never ride faster than your Angel can fly"

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rob565uk
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Re: joke of the day

Post by rob565uk » Mon Jul 10, 2017 9:08 am

Actual sign posted at a golf club in Scotland:

1.BACK STRAIGHT, KNEES BENT

2..FEET SHOULDER WIDTH APART.

3.FORM A LOOSE GRIP

4.KEEP YOUR HEAD DOWN!

5.STAY OUT OF THE WATER.

6. TRY NOT TO HIT ANYONE.

7.IF YOU ARE TAKING TOO LONG,
LET OTHERS GO AHEAD OF YOU

8.DON'T STAND DIRECTLY
IN FRONT OF OTHERS.

9.QUIET PLEASE...WHILE OTHERS
ARE PREPARING.

10.DON'T TAKE EXTRA STROKES.





WELL DONE.. NOW, FLUSH THE URINAL, GO OUTSIDE, AND TEE OFF

1 in 10 people understands binary. The other one doesn't

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