joke of the day
joke of the day
"My wife has a furniture problem-her chest has fallen down into her drawers"!-
"I hate two faced people-don't know which face to punch first!"
Re: joke of the day
I went to a restaurant that advertises "Breakfast at Any Time", but was asked to leave when I ordered Full English Breakfast during the Renaissance.
1 in 10 people understands binary. The other one doesn't
- bluebirdsback
- Posts: 458
- Joined: Thu Dec 18, 2008 11:45 pm
Re: joke of the day
Bear with me chaps, I will think of a printable one shortly.
The moment you make something idiot proof a new breed of idiots will come along and prove you wrong
Re: joke of the day
I had to divorce my first wife because of religious reasons. She thought she was God whereas i didn't.
- Piston Broke
- Site Admin
- Posts: 395
- Joined: Thu Dec 04, 2008 12:49 pm
Re: joke of the day
Fact of life...After Monday & Tuesday, even the calendar says W T F !!
If it can't be fixed with duck tape it can't be fixed
There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness"
Facebook is to socialising is what masturbation is to sex
There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness"
Facebook is to socialising is what masturbation is to sex
Re: joke of the day
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
- Renegadenemo
- Posts: 5176
- Joined: Mon Dec 01, 2008 12:29 pm
- Location: N E England
- Contact:
Re: joke of the day
Did you know, the Chinese name their kids by throwing a handful of cutlery on the floor and naming them after the noise it makes...
I'm only a plumber from Cannock...
"As to reward, my profession is its own reward;" Sherlock Holmes.
'It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.' W.C. Fields.
"As to reward, my profession is its own reward;" Sherlock Holmes.
'It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.' W.C. Fields.
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- Posts: 1099
- Joined: Thu Nov 26, 2009 10:29 pm
Re: joke of the day
"Who's 50 and sleeps with cats?"
Mrs Katz.
Mrs Katz.
Re: joke of the day
A girl walked into a pub and said to the barman: "I'd like a double entendre please", so the barman gave her one.
Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goals.
Re: joke of the day
A man walks up to the bar with a small lizard on his shoulder.He says to the barman can i have a pint of bitter and a large glass of water for tiny please. The barman ask's why do you call the lizard tiny is it because he's so small? Man looks at the barman and says no it's because he's my newt.